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Trump's Friday morning Twitter tirade promises a special report from Earth-2

President-elect Donald Trump, right, and former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani pose for photographs as Giuliani arrives at the Trump National Golf Club Bedminster clubhouse, Sunday, Nov. 20, 2016, in Bedminster, N.J.. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

Those waiting for Robert Mueller’s final report—an all-encompassing, A-Z catalog of the special counsel’s findings ranging from Paul Manafort’s money laundering to … Donald Trump’s money laundering—are going to be disappointed. Not because Mueller hasn’t found anything, but because it’s unlikely there will be such a report. Previous investigations, like Iran-Contra or Whitewater, did eventually include a suitable-for-your-coffee-table review, but those came years after most of the principles had departed. What’s likely to issue from Mueller’s office is indictments. Then more indictments. Then still more indictments. Then, a letter—likely delivered to Bill Barr, or whoever comes after Bill Barr displeases Trump, or whoever serves as AG in the Harris/Gillibrand/Beto administration—announcing that the investigation is winding down. That final letter might also detail whether or not Mueller feels there are others who should have gotten some paperwork except for inconvenient Justice Department guidelines. That’s about it.

That final letter, if it comes, may never be seen outside of the AG’s office. If it lands on Barr’s desk, he can issue it, redact it, bury it in a time capsule set to 2068, or shred it and eat it with cheese. But even if it is issued, it’s very unlikely to contain the kind of “big picture” review that many seem to be expecting.

And among that “many” is Donald Trump. Trump spent both Thursday night and Friday morning warning that not only is this investigation being conducted by the conflicted best friend of James Comey and his crew of angry Democratic refugees from the the Clinton Foundation, but that Mueller’s final report … won’t be the final report.  


With over four hours of “executive time” on Friday morning, Trump has been repeatedly tweeting about how Rudy is so going to blow Mueller out of the water with his alternate-world refutation of this partisan witch hunt—as soon as he figures out how the Internet works.

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